We Are Number One
by 336
Summary: But as a writing experiment on Fanfiction . Net


_**Disclaimer:**_

 _ **This dank meme is spicier than shrek.**_

 _ **It is also owned by Lazytown A.K.A Illuminati**_

 _ **Read with salt. It's dangerous to meme alone.**_

 _ **You have been disclaimed.**_

* * *

"Are you… A real villain?" Robbie asked Bobby, Tobby, and Flobby who were standing next to him in the middle of his lair.

Flobby was awkwardly shocked by this question and leaned back, making a face that might have passed as confusion in a normal conversation.

"Well, uh. Technically uhhhh…" Bobby said trying to come up with an answer while shaking his hands in front of him as if he were mimicking a scale. "Nah." He said finally, shaking his head.

"Have you ever caught a good guy, like ah, like ah real superhero!?" Robbie asked in a malevolent manner while looking into the air, envisioning himself doing it one day.

"Nah." Bobby shook his head again.

"Well then." Robbie said, peering skeptically at the three people before him. "Have you ever tried a disguise?" He asked, emphasizing how crucial disguises were for a villain by shaking his hands.

This time Tobby shook his head for Bobby. The little rattle accompanying it was probably a representation of how much grey-matter he had.

"Nah. Nah…" Bobby shook his hands in front of his face this time.

There was a disturbing amount of unneeded shaking in this conversation.

"Alright!" Robbie exclaimed, pointing upwards. "I can see, that I will have to teach you, how to be villains!"

Suddenly, an alto saxophone spontaneously appeared in Robbie's hands, and he started playing it. While doing so, his jaw and eyes moving like he didn't really believe he was about to do this, especially since Bobby was using his pinky finger to squeakily clean his ear.

But Bobby, Tobby, and Flobby decided they like the tune and after a few seconds of pure, lonely saxophone playing they jumped up into the air and shouted. "HEY!" Then started run-jumping around like maniacs as a base, drum set, trumpet, and accordion continued the tune.

Robbie looked at his sax with a befuddled expression, bothered by how it was still playing after he'd stopped, but clearly unconcerned with the fact that several other instruments had butted in without warning or anyone playing them.

But almost as an answer to this question, Bobby, Tobby, and Flobby teleported to the area in front of Robbie's fuzzy orange rocking chair. Bobby was plucking haphazardly on a base, Flobby was 'rocking out' on a small drum set, and Tobby was blowing into a trumpet. Flobby tossed his drum stick into the air as all of them shouted. "We are number one! HEY!"

For no particular reason, the scene suddenly changed to Stephanie and Stingy sneaking around behind a tan and yellow wall, oblivious to the music overhead. They did notice Robbie, however, and stared at him through binoculars. He was in a park next to a tree setting down a safety barrier with the symbol of a very, very unproductive worker on it. Stephanie gasped and ducked down with Stingy.

"Now listen closely." Robbie, now back in his lair, pointed at his trio of sidekicks. Bobby, Tobby, and Flobby all looked up with something like awe or fright on their faces.

"Here's a little lesson in trickery!" Robbie said, waltzing down short catwalk and then demonstrating how to use a bright orange net. "This is going down in history."

"If you wanna be a villain number one…" Robbie was now sitting on his orange rocking chair, using his orange phone before watching Bobby, Tobby, and Flobby fall out of a pipe and start to get down with some fairly decent tap dancing. "You have to chase a superhero on the run!"

Robbie and co. were now behind one of the short yellow walls of Lazytown, watching Sportaflop backflip right past them. Robbie yelled "Go! Go! Go!" In a hushed tone while his team flailed around, trying to give chase.

Sportaflop ran through the park and between two trees. The sound of a sports car following him wherever he went. The four villains came out from behind one of the tree's just as Sportaflop passed it.

Robbie came out first, not paying attention to the now 'stealthy' music, and started to speak. "Just follow me moves. And SNEAK around! Be careful not to make a sound. SHHHH!"

Bobby, who was flopping his hands up and down in an effort to sneak, looked to his left and found Tobby staring at him with his teeth bared menacingly. He got frightened and accidentally stepped on two surprisingly squishy twigs. This made a huge CRUNCH! But it was the kind of crunch you would hear after someone pulverized someone's ribs in a bad fighting game. A scared Bobby bent down and picked up one of the branches.

"NO! Don't touch that!" Robbie said angrily, snatching the branch away from Bobby.

Robbie then shook his head as his three partners teleported away and stepped forward, falling into a hole he had made earlier. As an insult to injury, the blue cage he had made also fell onto the hole, trapping him. Robbie sprung out, wiggling to shake the dirt and leaves from him.

There was a time jump, and the original tune was re-established. All four villains were set up near a tree. Flobby was holding the orange net, and was standing on top of a ladder. Tobby was holding the ladder with Bobby while Robbie stood lookout.

Robbie make a chicken noise as he turned and saw Sportaflop flipping towards them. He shouted for everyone to get ready, and Sportahop leaped high into the air and front-flipped over his head. "We are number one!" Flobby said as he swung hard and slow, missing Sportahop and instead falling off the ladder to catch Robbie. "HEY!"

Sportaflip completed 9001 flips before landing and decided he was really dizzy. So he ran off instead, leaving the dysfunctional four behind him.

But then, genius finally struck.

Robbie spun around so fast that, despite purple plasma appearing around him, the air said 'screw it' and decided not to make a tornado that destroyed the town. When he was finished, there was no Robbie, only Grandma! "We are number one!" She said.

Bobby, Tobby, and Flobby could only stare in shock when a saxophone solo accompanied Grandma down the crosswalk with Sportahot. She stopped in the middle of the road, noticing the lack of cars, and offered Sportahot an apple. Sportahot had obviously never seen Snow White, and bit into the apple without hesitation. He fell unconscious as the words. "We are number one!" Sounded through the air.

But, as Sportahot has just successfully been apprehended, the time-space continuum couldn't handle it and decided to show more of the team's failure while it learned how to deal with this catastrophe.

There was a flash of Bobby playing a saw, Tobby playing a mob, and Flobby banging on a trashcan before Robbie's voice was heard again.

"HA! HA! HAAaaa." He said, walking around the corner with a small blue fishing net. "Now look at this net, that I just found!" He said, tossing it to his partners, who then proceeded to turn it around like children. "When I say go, be ready to throw."

Suddenly Sporta'lot jumped over a wall while mimicking a bird. Realizing he'd just missed the perfect opportunity for a dab, he landed and ran past all four of them while deeply embarrassed.

"Err-GO!" Robbie shouted, getting overly excited. He then violently shook in surprise as everyone threw the net on him.

"Through it at him not me!" He yelled in irritation, tossing the net away. He then sighed. "Ugh. Let's try something else."

All four jumped up slightly and started a hunched over walk off screen.

"Now watch. And learn. Here's the deal!" Robbie sang while walking backwards and taking out banana peels from an orange box only to throw them on the ground. "He'll slip and slide from this banana peel! HA! HA! HA! **(°Д°)** \- GASP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" He yelled as all three of his discount minions slipped on the peels.

Finally, time-space continuum came back from it's therapy session with The Doctor and continued the previous scene.

Bobby, Tobby, and Flobby put Sportacaught into the blue cage from earlier and started to waddle off with him. Grandma wished her grand-kids well before wandering off.

Back in the lair, Flobby was giving Sportacaught a rapey look. "HEY!"

Meanwhile, back in town, Robbie was pushing a massive red circus cannon into the basketball court. He was unaware of Stephanie and Stingy, who were in the middle of ganking a pipe behind a wall. Stephanie tore open the pipes neck right in front of Stingy, who was giving her a sadistic expression of approval. The pipe tried to scream as an apple was crammed down it's throat, but only the sound of suction could be heard, and the apple slid down and away. Stephanie slammed the pipe's neck back into place. The pipe would live, but have a fear of apples and spy clubs for the rest of his life.

"Dah! Dahdidydidydahdah! Da Dut Dut DaH! Dah! DaH! DAH! We are number one! HEY!" The apple tumbled down through the pipes digestive tract and out the other end. It fell onto Bobby's back, and then onto the lair's floor, where it rolled to Sportacaughts cage. He picked it up and, not caring that he'd JUST BEEN POISONED by the last apple he'd eaten, took a single bite. Suddenly, Sportacaught realized that the apple wasn't poisoned, but filled with old spice body wash. He jumped up and flexed, his muscles becoming extremely ripped as his body became living cancer and multiplied his cells at an alarming rate.

"Dah! Dahdidydidydahdah! Da Dut Dut DaH! Dah! DaH! DAH!" Suddenly Robbie was seen spinning around in the lair shouting. "WE ARE ALL THE NUMBER, ONE!"

His voice echoed and faded while his partners played their respective instruments while moving in a bad conga line. "HEY!"

While Bobby, Tobby, and Flobby stared shocked at a broken lock, Sportacancer rekt the lock on his cage by knife-handing it. He then made friends with the trio and ran off to play basketball.

Robbie, who was back at the cannon on the basketball court, saw his former friends playing ball with Sportacancer and cursed their sudden but inevitable betrayal. He loaded a giant Cheeto ball into his cannon and set the toyish looking timer. As Robbie was sneaking off, he accidentally kicked a orange bucket. Having seen to much orange in the last 2:33 minutes, Robbie got angry at it and kicked it right into the cannons launch button.

"We are number one! HEY!"

Unfortunately for him, he was standing right in the line of fire, and was hit by the giant Cheeto. Robbie screamed and contemplated life decisions as he blasted off, screaming into the sky. Luckily Team Rocket was there to save him, and in the next scene we see the traitorous trio running frantically forward until they fall into a hole. They shouted. "We are number one!" As they fell. Robbie pop's up from behind a wall, looking surprised and happy that he'd caught his arch nemesis, only to scream. "We are number one!" In disappointment.

Then suddenly everyone is friends again because fuck it, and are back in the lair playing and singing. "We are number one! HEY HEY!"

 **-Video End**


End file.
